Deep Canvass Your Relatives

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I wanted to do a longer post on this but then of course time became a thing and like many of us when it comes to the election I go back and forth between being able to engage thoughtfully and turning into a ranting sniveling mess.

I first want to say that I really feel for anyone who is spending the holidays with relatives who support Donald Trump. I still feel betrayed and incensed by my relatives who voted for Clinton but propagated the misogynistic language during the primary that I feel ultimately contributed (along with a boat load of other things) to this electoral outcome. I can only imagine having to share Thanksgiving with Trumpster fires. You are sincerely in my prayers.

There has been a lot of discussion over whether its appropriate, admissible or even incumbent upon us to talk about 2016 at the Thanksgiving table. I know my boyfriend and I are dreading having these conversation with my relatives, all of whom supported Clinton, but are less politically engaged than we are and likely to come at us with their own aggressive hot takes not at all hampered by the fact that this is our field of expertise.

Our friends at the Campaign Workshop shared an interview with Episcopal Reverend Tim Schenck for those taking the "I'd rather not go there" approach.

This will shock absolutely none of my readership, but I am quite comfortable arguing with my family even on holidays. This is in part because I'm Nancy and in part because I'm Jewish. Many Jewish holidays center on wrestling with interpretations of morality, questioning what we have been taught and even arguing with God shimself. And if I can have that argument, even my relatives are a piece of cake.

One of the many things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving is a family that loves me and whom I love unconditionally, who share my values and for the most my interpretation of how those values should present themselves in our democracy. I recognize not everyone has that privilege. I don't mean to advocate for you to participate in actions that supersede your mental health.

However, when a colleague, who it should be noted has a very different relationship with her family, shared this article with the note "deep canvass your relatives," I was immediately drawn to the idea. Deep canvass as you may remember, is a method of voter contact that essentially allows the target to persuade themselves by answering thought provoking questions. You can read more about deep canvass here. When I consider the very few people in my life who voted for Donald Trump I am inclined to ask them that which is also the title of this New York Times article, "How Could You?" which presents 19 questions to ask your loved ones on the opposite side of our bitterly fought and bitterly disappointing presidential race. Those questions are:

1. Describe your relationship to me.

2. Are we close?

3. Who did I vote for and why?

4. What was the most important issue for me?

5. Why do you feel differently about that issue?

6. How do you think our views came to be so different?

7. Has it been difficult to talk to me about this election? If so, why?

8. Do my views influence your politics at all?

9. What do you think most needs to change about this country?

10. Are you uncomfortable about any aspect of how America is changing?

11. Do you think I’m sexist or racist?

12. Do you feel ignored or misunderstood as a voter? If so, for how long?

13. What is a position my candidate held that you agree with?

14. What is a trait you find positive about my candidate?

15. What is something that you don’t like about the candidate you voted for?

16. Is there anything you are hopeful about in a Trump presidency?

17. Is there a goal Clinton talked about that you could get behind?

18. What do you think we agree on?

19. Do you still like me?

Even more fascinating, the article offers a link to The Run Up podcast, which features sets of relatives having just this conversation.

I mean this not to be saccharine but as political necessity;our current state of affairs is severely lacking in empathy. I am as guilty of it as anyone. I CANNOT put myself in the position of someone who voted for Donald Trump, insurance premiums be damned. If we can't see where the other side is coming from, we can't communicate effectively and we will continue to lose elections. As I piece together my own personal version of "what's next" I know that listening and communicating in a way that meets people where they are is essential for progress as well as my own ability to reconcile what I believe to be true about our country with what happened at the polls. I will continue to share opportunities I find to do this and most of all continue to be grateful for your friendship and your readership today and every day.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Campaign Love and Mine,


Nancy

Pro-Tip: Be Thankful

Years ago, a career counselor at my alma mater advised me to write holiday cards to people who had helped me in my job search. Her logic was that this was an unobtrusive way of keeping myself on their radars, while reminding them of my impeccable charm and business etiquette should I need their help in future.

I thought this was sort of brilliant and I've adapted it to my own tastes over the years to include more than just casual business contacts and to take place around Thanksgiving rather than New Years. Every year I write an e-mail to candidates, bosses, co-workers and volunteers who have made an impact on me in the most recent election year. Yes, it's a good career move, but I'm recommending thankfulness in general. Here's why:

1) Elections are by nature a cynical business. We spend a lot of time talking about what's wrong, railing against injustice or warning about what could happen if the other side gets its way. There have been times on elections and even in school when I think about everything going on in the world and all the issues I care about and worry "how will we ever, ever fix that?" In our rush to make things better, we can spend our whole lives focusing on what's left to do and not consider all the progress we've made. This year I am thankful for (among many other things) Gilad Shalit, an end to Don't Ask Don't Tell, New York marriage equality, victories in Connecticut, continued protection for a woman's right to choose, and a plan to withdraw troops from Iraq. In the lead up to what promises to be a challenging election year, let's not forget that we have a lot to be proud of.

2) It means more to thank someone when you don't need anything from them. Any organizer worth her call list knows to thank her volunteers when they come in the office, but what about the election? I once attended a training where a now fairly prominent field director told us that volunteers are like tissues because you get as much as you can out of them, and then you throw them out. Lovely. I know, I'm such the karma police that Radiohead could write a song about me, but it seems to me that if you thank someone you should mean it. Especially if you plan to go ahead and do it again with a whole new group of people next year. You're asking people to do things that are sometimes scary, often boring and often time consuming. As we all know, volunteers come into the office for the candidate, but they stay for you. One of the things that broke my heart about John Edwardsgate was that I had asked people to give up their time and energy to help him. I put my reputation and integrity on the line to them for him. Afterwards, I felt like I had let them down. Writing them a thank you note almost a year later allowed me to let them know that even though things worked out very, very differently than we had hoped, their hard work was not unappreciated, and not in vain.

3) We stand on the shoulders of giants. Whether you're in school, on a campaign, or doing something equally important but unrelated, sometimes its hard to stay motivated. It's less so when you think about all the people who have come before you to make your job/school/life possible. I am thankful for the founding fathers and mothers and revolutionaries who risked being hung for treason so that I could be part of the longest running democracy in history, for the people who have died defending it and for the women who took part in the suffrage movement. I am also thankful for the doctors and pharmacists who made it possible for me to be alive and healthy enough to contribute to a movement I find incredibly rewarding. I have no intention of letting any of them down.

This year I am thankful to all of you for reading my blog and sharing it with others, especially my darling friend Cole Imperi who helped me with its new design (official launch coming soon). Please let me know how I can help you achieve your goals this coming year. I wish you a festive and meaningful holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,
Nancy