Free Advice for Potential Candidates: Don't Be A Gross Weirdo

I offer you guys a lot of free campaign advice, but here's one I never thought I'd have to share: When running for office don't pick your eye boogers and eat them on camera.

"What a strange thing to mention, Nancy" you might say. I bring it up because that's exactly what Oklahoma State Rep, marriage bigot, and Congressional hopeful Mike Turner did earlier this year. Or at least I assume so. I can't actually watch the video because the idea of watching someone eat their own eye crust makes feel the way Mike Turner feels about consensual, loving same-sex relationships. I did however listen to it and I can't help but wonder if the speaker thinks the word "mandate" means being forced to go on a date with a man. So to recap: Gay people getting married soooo disgusting that we should legally abolish all marriage. Treating your body like a booger buffet, totally legit.

Stay Classy, Oklahoma Republicans.